Finding Solace

It's 2:36 AM in the morning. My night shift has just ended, and so it suddenly crossed my mind that why not start writing again. Not that I have been an avid writer in the past, but writing has always been with me like a shadow. It has been my profession for the past 13 years. I was content writer, when I started my career, then editor, and gradually shifted to become a technical writer. Yes, now you know what I do for living.

I do not have anything specific in my mind when I started to type. There are so many things going on in my mind that I thought I should pen (type) it down. When I started to write, one thing I told myself that I won't dwell in the past. I will only write about present. 

For starter, COVID19 lockdown has taken a serious toll on me, mentally. Initially when it started, I really felt good. My younger daughter was born, and I told myself, this is that one vacation we always dreamed of. But today, after an year, I am sure how long I can stay at home. I lose my temper all the time (with the wife and kids), have become clean freak. I don't now if I can call it an early sign of depression. But from what I understand is that I need to step out of my house. Even that is the problem. I don't feel like going out. At the same time, I feel like I should stay alone for a bit or take a solo trip somewhere far away from all the hustle.

People sometime tag me as a loner, which I believe I am. But at the same time I feel like talking to someone, pour my heart out. You all must be thinking, why don't talk to my wife and the kids. I do, but my wife has a very erratic work schedule and she has very less time for chit chats (don't judge!). Apparently her organization doesn't believe in 'work-life-balance'. At least that's what I thinks. 

So to make myself entertained when I am not working, I either binge-watch on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or read books, intermittently. So in the past year I have watch end number of series and movies, and read quite a few books. I have decided to devote more time on reading, and less screen time. This month I have read Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak, and The Carper Weaver by Nemat Sadat. At present I am reading Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie. 

Do let me know what you think about these books. Also let me know if you have any suggestions for books. 

It's 3:13 AM now, I shall hit the sack. My day would start early tomorrow. 

PS: Not sure if I will be able to write another post before Holi, so Happy Holi to everyone.

Good night.